The GOP convention

Okay, its Friday and time to unleash my thoughts on the past week's White House Race, which has only been mildly more entertaining than beating my son in "Destroy All Humans!".

As one who is decidedly undecided… I’m trying not to be diverted.

Monday: Cindy McCain (looks like an older version of Paris Hilton) and Laura bush spoke. The convention was mostly overshadowed by Gustov, a large heavy sat man in front of the spotlight in the back of the auditorium.

Tuesday: A bit more interesting. Prez Bush speaks by video teleconference. I found it interesting he compared the “angry left” to the tortuous communist McCain faced in Hanoi. As if Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid are going to jab bamboo sticks under McCain’s fingernails if he wins. Ouch!

Former Senator and even more former television star Fred Thompson (I LOVED HIM IN LAW AND ORDER!) had something stuck in his throat (possibly bamboo) and could have used a glass a water or one less gin and tonic before taking the stage.

Being in the military myself, some of the things he said about McCain got something stuck in my throat and I nearly choked up when he talked about all the torture and pain McCain endured as a POW. But what really stuck out to me was Thompson's description of McCain as the leader of trouble makers. Made me think, “so are we electing a class clown?”

But by far the best line in Thompson's speech had to be, "Some Washington pundits and media big shots are in a frenzy over the selection of a woman who has actually governed rather than just talked a good game on the Sunday talk shows and hit the Washington cocktail circuit." (Who’s jabbing bamboo now monkey boy!)

Thompson was like a bulldog, tearing at the pants legs of Obama, as if he were a thief trying to break into the White House instead of getting elected to it.

Yet for all the talk of "taken on the political establishment" given by President Bush by Video, the wives, Thompson, and later Democrat Joe Lieberman (is it just me or does he look like the clown in the Simposon's?) it is sort of hard for me to argue against Obama’s point that McCain has been in public service for nearly 30 years, and one might argue IS the political establishment. In this light, is McCain going to take on himself? Shadow box in the oval office?

“John is an independent man who thinks for himself. He’s not afraid to tell you when he disagrees. Believe me, I know.” – Bush by tele.
Aughhh, but wait there is more….
Wednesday: VP pick Palin spoke. I wasn’t sure if we were supposed to be electing her or her family. The more I see of her, the more I wonder why we even need John or Barrack. If we need an air of fresh breath in Washington, SHE IS IT! Not a 72 year-old war hero or a young poplar kid with a gift for public gabbing.
Palin is a real wild-west frontier women with a drunken husband, knocked-up kids, and a child with special needs. (I can TOTALLY relate that.) I say scratch off McCain’s name! PALIN FOR PREZ ! Yeah, baby, yeah!
She had some of the greatest quotes too!
“I came to office promising major ethics reform… While I was at it, I got rid of a few things in the governor's office that I didn't believe our citizens should have to pay for. That luxury jet was over the top. I put it on eBay.” (I heard Cindy McCain bought it. But that may just be a rumor.)
“I thought we could muddle through without the governor's personal chef.” (So if elected, White House dinners with foreign guests will include a menu of bologna sandwiches, rice crispy treats and a pitcher of Cool-Aid. “Mr. Putin, would you pass the macaroni and cheese, please?”)
“I've noticed a pattern with our opponent... We've all heard his dramatic speeches … But listening to him speak, it's easy to forget that this is a man who has authored two memoirs but not a single major law or reform — not even in the state Senate.” (I think that’s called a bitch slap.)
“Harry Reid, the Majority Leader of the current do-nothing Senate, not long ago summed up his feelings about our nominee. He said, quote, ‘I can't stand John McCain.’ … Clearly what the Majority Leader was driving at is that he can't stand up to John McCain.” (Slap, slap.)
“It's a long way from the fear and pain and squalor of a six-by-four cell in Hanoi to the Oval Office.” (Now, that’s Shakespearean.)
Thursday: McCain…. Hmmm… his name is Irish, so I like him already.
Maybe you already know, but the “Mc” simply means “son of.” Sometime pronounced “Mic” (as in “you dirty mic,”) and is a negative slang term used to describe people of Irish decent, also as in “son-of-a-(female dog).”
I share this with because it hasn’t any relevance to the election, but merely to impress you with my vast amount of worthless knowledge, and well… perhaps illustrate just how irrelevant some parts of McCain’s speech were. At least that is how he seemed to me. McCain is no public speaker. His words may have been meaningful, but his delivery is a cure for insomnia. And how many times has someone mentioned Pennsylvania in a Republican speech?
But I would be remise if I did not talk about the protestors. How the heck let them in? One source I read said disenfranchised republicans. No less than three times in the first few minutes of his speech did someone come out and attempt to interrupt McCain. NOW, that pissed me off. I’m sorry, but your rights end where someone else’s begins. In this case, millions of AMERICANs (myself included) wanted to hear what the man had to say.
How DARE those first amendment hypocrites claim they have the right to free speech as if the Republicans don’t have a greater right to peacefully assemble? Go read the damn Constitution and Bill of Rights. Too many of my friends have bleed and died defending it for those individuals to flout it like that.
Now about McCain’s comments in energy…
McCain said, “We will develop clean coal technology.” (Clean burning coal? Both sides have talked about that. How the heck do you “cleanly” burn anything?)
He goes on…
“We will encourage the development and use of flex fuel, hybrid and electric automobiles.” (Encourage, as in “come on boy. Come on. Come here GM. Come make us some hybrids. Come on now. That’a boy.)
Energy is obviously a big issue. So, I have developed an answer to our energy problems. Cows.
Yes, you read correctly. Cows.
First, let’s hook up hoses to cows’ bottoms and capture all that methane gas they unleash. Secondly, we’ll burn all their manure in our energy plants. Then we’ll eat the cows cooked at Burger King on methane gas stoves. Oh, and then we can burn our own waste! We could even covert all our vehicles to run on methane. Just get one cow, put it in the back of your vehicle with a bale of green hay, attach the hose to your tank and your off! No more foreign oil or gas! Problem solved.
And I don’t care which candidate it is, Nuclear Energy (as we now have it) is not the answer to energy. Anything that produces waste that has to be stored for 1 million years 5 miles underground is the WRONG ANSWER! (In the United States alone, the Department of Energy states that there are "millions of gallons of radioactive waste" as well as "thousands of tons of spent nuclear fuel and material" and also "huge quantities of contaminated soil and water".)
Going on…
McCain had some powerful words at times…
“I fell in love with my country when I was a prisoner in someone else's.”
“My country saved me, and I cannot forget it. And I will fight for her for as long as I draw breath, so help me God.”
“If you find faults with our country, make it a better one. If you're disappointed with the mistakes of government, join its ranks and work to correct them. Enlist in our Armed Forces. Become a teacher. Enter the ministry. Run for public office. Feed a hungry child. Teach an illiterate adult to read. Comfort the afflicted. Defend the rights of the oppressed. Our country will be the better, and you will be the happier.”
Overall, he did pretty good.
Have I decided?
I am decidedly not. But then again, I may just be caught up in the ground noise and static.